I was having dinner with my Naturopathic Doctor turned Go to Friend and Confidant 2 Saturday’s ago and as we were chatting I was describing how amazing I was feeling and how allowing myself to soften into the universal energy has opened up so much healing and opportunity for me. As I finished gushing about how amazing I am feeling, she basically looked at me and reminded me of how much of a change it was from the burnt out mom I was last year when I first walked into her office.
The reminder stopped me in my tracks. I had been burnt out. I had been burnt out for 29 years. consistently pushed to the edge, and often times falling into a downward spiral of self doubt, neglect, and withdrawal. Why had I been so burnt out? What had pushed me to that extreme? and what had changed in a mere 12 months to flip the burnout to a grounded glow? (And she is not the only one who has remarked on my glow! )
So, I started to think. Started to reflect. And what I discovered is that there was a shedding of a skin, a breaking of a mould and an avoidance of what society presents as correct for a female and mother of (almost) 30. I started to put myself on the list. I started to live my life from passion and purpose. Started to surround myself with people, places, experiences and things that bring me joy.
And in doing so I realized that we need to change the conversation. Change the conversation for us. Change the conversation for our kids. And change the conversation for our grandkids.
Because we will not survive, our kids will not survive and our society will not survive on burnout. We can’t continue to run on the hamster wheel, checking off boxes on our accomplishment to-do list. A to-do list dictated by society.
I do not want my children to fall into the same trap I did. I want them to glow every single day and feel like they can choose whatever path they want, with no judgement, and no regret. I Want my kids to experience life rather than being bound by it. In order for that to occur I need to be an example. A positive example of self care and self love.
We need to stop glorifying the busy. We need to stop putting ourselves down, emotionally and physically. And we need to stand up and be proud of what and who we are, exactly in this moment. No Regret. There is no need to fix yourself because you are PERFECTLY IMPERFECT just the way you are.
We need to stop putting ourselves last because in doing so our emotional, physical and spiritual cup drains very fast and, as the saying goes, you cant pour from an empty cup.
If your goal is to support those around you. To provide them with unconditional love and to feel rested and whole, you need to drop everything you are doing right now and change your viewpoint to change the conversation.
The Saturday that I had dinner with Tara was a day for me, and ONLY me. I did things that light me up, help to bring me back into balance and connect to my inner fire. I took a whole day and I was SELFISH. I went to yoga at my Studio and a float at The Flotation Centre, I did some visioning and goal setting over Chai at Lion and Bright, Tara and I wined and dined at Morris East before immersing ourselves in some amazing Sound Healing at the Gong Bath.
I was SELFISH and I did NOT feel GUILTY!
And for days I felt amazing! My cup was full, and when I picked my kids up on Sunday I was grounded and ready to take on the week with them. I truly believe that I am a much better mother, friend, daughter, sister and employee when I consciously decide to take the time to do things for me.
BUT - There was a time where I would spend no time on myself. And in those years I had very little joy. Everything around me kept falling apart - relationships of every variety, work, health, and my depression and anxiety were at an all time high.
And it was all because I was made to feel by society, that as a Woman and a mother, spending time on myself, away from my kids, was a bad thing.
Well, Im here to tell you its not.
I want you to be selfish.
I want you to discover what lights you up and makes you feel grounded.
And I want you to do it.
I want you to do it wholeheartedly and without guilt. It will not be easy the first time, and maybe not even the second time. But over time you will see how taking time for you, every day, every week and every month will drastically improve the flow of your life and your outlook.
Live from passion - Ignite your TRUE Essence and watch how it will inspire others to do the same. The empowering ripple effect of self love and self care will be seen and felt around you for years!
Sending you love and light every single day.
Don’t know where to start?
No worries! Here’s exactly what I did.
Lock yourself in a room or leave your house - Make sure you have a pen and paper with you.
Write - Your writing does not need to have a purpose - just get out any thoughts and feelings you are having. Nothing is forbidden. Write it. Mark up the paper. Let it all out. And then burn it. Burn it to release the energy. Burn it to feel a sense of letting go and peace.
Write again - this time with purpose. Ask yourself the following question - What 5 things bring me the most joy (this should be limited strictly to things you can do alone - for you!) This might be hard. And it is meant to be. You may stare at a blank page for hours. But eventually you ill have the courage to write it out - if your list is longer than 5 - great! Write as much as you can!
Set an intention - You will do each of these 5 things this month! Schedule the time. Tell the people closest to you that you are going to do this and that you need their support. Encourage them to do it too! Everyone needs to be practicing self love!
Write about how you feel after taking time for you. Keep writing.
Reflect at the end of the month and reassess what you are going to do for you next month. Pretty soon it will become a habit and you wont ave to think about it so m much and you will immediately begin to see the shift!
Need some inspiration? Here’s my monthly Self Care routine! (Note: It doesn't always all get done - but what does get done keeps me above the line!)
Morning - Hot lemon water and vitamins. Tongue scraping.
Evening - Shower (dry brushing of the skin first), rooibos tea, magnesium to drink, oils on my feet and magnesium spray on my belly (You can get the sleep oil blend and magnesium spray at the studio). Mediate for 10 minutes min, read for 15 in min. Diffuse oils.
At least 5 days/week - 45-60 minutes of Yoga. Journalling.
Weekly - 1-2 epsom sat baths with baking soda and oils. Face mask (usually honey). Read and drink tea in bath for at least 20 minutes with mask on face. Exfoliate face and body with baking soda. Smudge the house.
Monthly - Float at The Flotation Centre and another form of healing - Reiki, sound healing, talking to my Psychic etc. Perform one random act of kindness. Dinner with a friend or relax at a cafe solo.
As much as possible - get out in nature and hug my kids (and anyone else who is willing)!
Brittany is the Founder and Owner of Yoga Room of Essence. Yoga and Eastern Healing Methods have made a significant impact on her life. Here she will share knowledge, insight and inquiries into these amazing Healing Methods.